In Defense of Rationalism

Before you start reading this, I have two pieces of advice for you:
1) Stop reading right now if religion is so sacred in your life that you never even gave it a second thought because you never wanted to doubt what you'd always been taught. I'm really serious that this is not for you if you are double-dipped in Catholicism or Mormonism or something because there are many platforms for your beliefs, but very few for mine, and I'm through apologizing for them.
2) People who make the decision to read this (thank you, by the way) might be upset because I will be the first to admit my views are pretty extreme, compared to the mainstream. If I offend you, I'm sorry, but not really because you did this to yourself. It's like ignoring the warning at the beginning of The Human Centipede when Comcast tells you this movie is really gross and weird and are you SURE you want to order it anyway? You said yes. Just remember that...

Religion? I'm over it. Sure, I feel the need to offer the immediate disclaimer that I love/respect many people who identify themselves as Christian, Jewish, whatever, and I think everyone has the right to believe whatever they want to believe. What I am NOT okay with, however, is when your beliefs bleed into my everyday living space. I'm not talking about you going to church on Sunday or you volunteering your time at the annual church coat drive. That's all well and good because what you do on your own time is your business. The problem arises when two ladies (one who's a tween, and one who's old enough to know better) show up on the doorstep of my home and ask me if I believe in miracles. Well, little girl, I don't want to be rude, so what if I just say I think I see Justin Bieber over there and quickly shut the door when you turn to look? That way I'm not slamming the door in your innocent face, but I AM slamming it in the face of the 40-something woman wearing a sack-dress who's shilling religious propaganda to people who are just trying to watch The View. Instead, I say, "You know, I really appreciate you stopping by, but we're atheist, so I wish you the best of luck and have a great day." You could tell the young one didn't know what that meant. Judging by the somewhat sour expression the older one had, I'm guessing she did.

Or let's say you're at work and this nice person you've just met comes over to thank you for your help on something today and she ends the conversation with "Have a blessed weekend!" -- and you freeze like the proverbial deer in headlights because they must have forgotten to teach the polite response to that in Cotillion. So you just say, "OkayhaveagoodoneBYE!" in the nervous, squeaky voice of Jennifer Tilly all of a sudden.

Or what if you're in the copy room and the same otherwise nice individual is asked how she is today and her response is, "I am blessed!" and you know your whole day is just shot because you've had enough of this being forced down your throat?
If you're asking yourself why this one little statement would affect me so much, let me break this down for you:
The word "blessed" is just a shortened way of saying what? "Blessed by God" or something otherwise not secular, right? Okay, glad we can at least agree on that. So, if you take that seemingly benign response (benign to other people who already think like she does), it's quite offensive to me on many levels. First, she's already decided that I must think like she thinks and believe what she believes, or she's being even more offensive, right? But what I think is more likely (and even more frightening to those of us living in Logical Land) is that she hasn't even considered that anyone else might have different religious affiliations -- or, worse, NONE AT ALL! (GASP!) -- where that might not be an innocent little answer to what was only  polite chitchat to begin with. Next, we are in the workplace. BIG TIME no-no there because god, your affiliation, my thoughts, etc. should never, ever, ever, ever be mentioned, unless you work for a church or some other religious network of some sort. That's just the way it is and I'm pretty sure it's in most employee handbooks across the nation to avoid lawsuits, if nothing else. It's just not appropriate to discuss such things -- in any context -- in an office. And it could have been avoided so easily by just saying, "I'm fine, thanks." "God" had no place in this conversation, so why'd you bring it up???
If you're still not sure why I'm offended by this, I'm a little puzzled by that, but okay. Look at it this way: If she's just innocently answering this question while simultaneously stating her beliefs, please consider what would happen if I did the same. Imagine this scenario:
"Hi, how are you today?"
"I am happy! There is NO god to bless us!"
I would be fired, or at least written up. But there is nothing different about me shoving my beliefs in someone else's face that way, except that my beliefs are not yet as widespread and accepted.
Think that's a little crazy? Okay, how about this one?:
"Hi, how are you today?"
"Praise be to Allah."
Ooooooooooooooooooh no. Don't say that! You're in the bible belt and they must be terrorists, right? NO! (In fact, let's all line up to protest the new mosque that's being built, and stall its construction every chance we get because it's a different god than we accept...true story in TN.) That's ridiculous, but again proves my point that if your beliefs are not the mainstream, you better keep your mouth shut.
Just think about that for a minute...I'll wait.



I can't speak for all atheists, but I can speak about my own experiences. For years, I have been bullied (there's that buzzword again) into just shutting up in casual social circles, or accepting the fact that some people might think I'm a bad person if I speak up in support of my beliefs when theirs are being thrust in my direction. I don't think I'm going to do that anymore. It's not my responsibility, nor my duty, to protect your thoughts about something just because you've decided it's sacred. Richard Dawkins points out that just because something is sacred to a group, the "non-believers" are then required to hold their tongues, rather than talk through why they don't believe the same, or why that belief may not hold water in a logical world. He reminds us that political discourse is healthy, but when it comes to religion, it's widely accepted that you can't pick it apart because you will offend someone. End of story.
So a lot of people just go along with mainstream religion and cherry-pick what they like and leave the parts they don't. I think that's even more messed up. Don't label yourself a part of a group, unless you actually follow (at least) the majority of its rules. For example, you wouldn't label yourself a triathlete just because you took swimming lessons when you were a kid, but haven't been in a pool in 26 years. So don't call yourself a Christian unless you're following the bible to the letter...and please don't do that because it would be:
a) impossible due to the crimes and mysticism
b) ridiculous.
(I'm just using Christianity as an example since it's the one that's prosthelytized the most.)

That being said, if you choose to go to church once a year and still label your beliefs "better" and "higher" than mine, that's cool, provided you don't mention them to me. (And I will grant you the same respect.) In that case, your religious world has nothing to do with me. But when it's brought up on a daily basis and others are able to just dismiss it, it's likely because they're already on board with some part of what you've said. And you need to know that that is offensive to me at my very core. It's offensive to my rationality and logic. It is offensive to my intellect.

If you think I  seem pretty angry about this subject, but you're still not sure why, let me offer this last story. I was a sophomore at this small, private and very conservative college in MO. It was filled with really great, salt-of-the-earth kids from small, farm towns. The problem was that only about half of them were excited for new experiences and to learn from meeting people who were really nothing like them. The other half was only interested in beating their bibles and talkin' god and how many potato chips it would take to feed a cow. (I wish I were making any of that up.)
In the interest of keeping a long story short, I'll skip ahead a bit...
We were all required to take this religion class that was filled with great discussions and new ideas, if you were open to them. It came out that, along with only one other person in there, I was an atheist. I swear you could hear the gasps in this tiny room, and I knew immediately that I was never going to be viewed the same way by particular individuals. I honestly didn't care until I realized that I was now going to be treated like the Hester Prynne of this tight-knit campus. I suddenly had a Scarlet A of my own and it was all because I had been honest -- in an appropriate setting -- about my beliefs.
I was matched up with a frat boy friend for their Oktoberfest activities. I had met him several times, but we didn't know each other well. A friend asked me to go with him as a favor, and I just wanted to go to the weeklong party, so I accepted. Said frat boy's small-town-haired  brother (small-town-hair is when boys comb those front pieces forward with extra gel in the comb, making them infinitely less attractive to anyone who's been to a city with a population larger than 700) was also in this frat and I was chatting with him late one night at a gathering. He said, "You've been quite the topic of conversation at my house lately!" I was shocked since his brother and I were just acquaintances, so I asked why and I will never forget his response. He said he's been talking to his mother and he said, "Mom, [brother] is going to the dance with an atheist." She cried, which is exactly what I did when I got back to my dorm late that night, but not because I was ashamed of the way I thought. I was ashamed of the way she thought. I'd never thought my whole person could be summed up in just one word: atheist. But that is what I had become to these people. I was the person who was SUCH A BAD individual that I couldn't even welcome "god" into my life. So that was that. That was all I'd ever be in their eyes, and I'd be lying if I said that didn't play a role in my decision to transfer schools the next year, because I never wanted to be around such closed-minded people again. It still sickens me and I honestly pity that guy who probably doesn't even remember any of this. I think he lives in Chicago now, and I hear he's king of atheists these days, from mutual acquaintances. ...isn't it interesting that exposure to "different" things educated him and he's now moved away from the indoctrination of his youth?
But it still stings, so excuse me if I've run out of patience for hearing everyone else's religious voices while mine stays silenced.

So, here's the moral of the story:
Religion is like teenage hands: better kept to one's self. Just trust me on this.