Thirty is starting out pretty great. In fact, I'm flat-out happy about life right now and that's not because of the slight buzz I'm still sporting from last night's post-dinner drinks...okay, maybe it's not so slight.
It's strange to think that I had to come to Vegas to learn something about my own sensibility, but I guess you can't predict how you'll learn certain things about yourself.
I have been talking about Chanel flats since before our honeymoon. I said I was going to get some as my big wedding/honeymoon present to myself, but when we were in a Paris department store, I picked one up and flipped it over. I immediately set it back on the shelf and did an about-face. Sean was sick of hearing about these damn shoes so the first thing out of his mouth was, "Where are you going? How much were they?" I continued walking and replied, "I can't tell if the first number is a 4 or a 9, which means we can't afford them." I'm pretty sure his jaw probably dropped, but I couldn't say for sure because I was high-tailing it out of there.
On my birthday, I decided to get myself those flats. I was so excited. We walked to the Bellagio's luxury shops and I had my moment outside of Chanel where I told myself I was ready to become a full-blown fancy lady. I paused before I walked in and drank in the moment of appreciation of abundance in my life. I walked in, strode over to the flats and excitedly looked around. I found the ones I have been dreaming about and casually flipped them over. Let's just say they were $50-$75 over the already absurdly high heart-attack limit I had set for myself...and I couldn't do it. I grabbed Sean and once again left that Chanel behind. Once outside the store, he asked how much they were and when I told him, his jaw dropped. I teared up because it was my birthday and I just couldn't believe I would have enough sense (even after a few cocktails!) to walk away from baby's first Chanel (I'm not counting my glasses...though I probably should.). I hated myself. But that f'ing Midwestern sensibility (thanks, Mom and Dad) kicked in and all I could think about was that no matter how much success I eventually have in my life, I'm just not going to be able to shake that little voice of reason that reminds me there are millions of animals in need and how much good I could do with that selfishly extravagant "budget" I set for myself.
Dammit. Even with alcohol, the sense is there...and I think it's because I'm getting older.
Seeing my disappointment, Sean grabbed my arm and said, "You need to buy something IMMEDIATELY!" We found more cocktails and an H&M and suddenly, all was well again. And later that night, I ended up with a gorgeous Max Azria bag and a new gay bestie named Sammy. I love that bag so much that I carried it around our hotel room for three days. It's insanely beautiful and I am so fortunate...even if I am cursed with good sense.
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